The All-New Ralph In A Dress 2.0

Can you believe I started this site 10 years ago? It originally came about because I’d get into discussions with crossdressers and when I described my nonconventional style choices they’d want to see examples. So I threw together a gallery of photos of my favorite dresses, skirts, and nightgowns. I also wanted a forum where I could rant all I wanted to about issues related to crossdressing, genderfluid, gender-nonconforming, and transgender (some of those terms didn’t even exist in common use when I started!)

Looking back on it, I’m embarrassed by what a narcissist I was. Who really wants to see a 50-year-old bearded man in a satin ballgown? Most of what I prefer to wear serves to feed some dark kink I can’t even begin to understand.

So on our 10th anniversary, I’ve decided to rip it all out and start over from scratch. I’ve removed the galleries, and when I have time I’ll go through the old posts and remove anything that’s not relevant to the direction I want to take this.

What direction is that, you ask? I want a home for men who like to wear skirts and dresses. I keep going out in search of a community where I can talk about what it’s like to keep pantyhose from ripping to shreds on unshaved legs, or fit into a dress that reveals a cleavage a guy with a flat hairy chest doesn’t have. With the exception of Skirt Cafe, there really isn’t such a place. All the crossdressing-friendly sites are geared towards either men who want to temporarily pass and feel “femme” while they are dressed (complete with female name and realistic artifical breasts) or transfolk who are at some stage in the process of permanently transforming into a woman.

Let me stress, I’m not being ironic or sarcastic when I say “not that there’s anything wrong with that.” But that’s not what this site is all about. There’s also nothing wrong with being happy with your masculinity and wanting to be a guy whose clothing choices include stuff that is conventionally intended for women to wear. There just aren’t any sites for guys like us, and that’s what I want to create here.

So knock the old newspapers off my cluttered sofa, grab a beer, smooth out your skirt, and let’s talk about how hard it is to find ballerina flats in size 12-extra-wide or nightgowns with sleeves that go past your elbows. Tell me about some great places you’ve found to shop selling feminine styles that fit a husky dude. Talk about how our wives deal with our weirdness, or (if you’re younger) your parents.

As soon as I can figure out how to set up discussion forums, we’ll have us a fine old man-cave. Just don’t be surprised if the cheap walmart furniture includes pink throw pillows with beer spilled on ’em. Hey, I’m not your maid.


Posted in 10th anniversary, crossdressing, it's a guy thing | Leave a comment

Transgenderism Encourages Rigid Gender Stereotypes

This is what I’m always on about. The problem with gender identity is that it’s largely based on a social construct of what it means to be “male” or “female”.  If I am biologically male but I believe my gender is female, what is it about me that makes me feel female on the inside? What defines the difference between feeling male and feeling female?

Much of it, I am convinced, relies on what society tells us are the requirements to be male or female. Look at those gender identity tests such as COGIATI and SAGE, which ask you a series of questions about your personality traits and abilities to score how masculine or feminine you are. Answer with too many “girly” answers, and you’ll be told that you are a good candidate for hormone replacement therapy (HRT) with or without sex reassignment surgery (SRS).

So these tests, and others like them, assume that if you are good at math you have the mind of a boy; if you are good at reading facial expressions you have the mind of a girl. I have battled this for years, almost believing it when I was younger and let other people tell me what to think. I like to wear dresses; I tend to be more nurturing and sympathetic than my male friends; I cry more easily; I prefer games and leisure activities that involve the mind more than the physical body (i.e. roleplaying games and puzzles). I even enjoy singing show tunes. To this day people in the transgender community tell me I’m just denying the truth that I am transgender, that I must have a strong inner desire to be a woman, that I’d be so much happier if I’d admit that I’m really a girl and go all the way with surgery.

To them I say, poppycock. I love being a man. There is nothing about my nonstandard traits that says by law I must be a woman. What kind of backward century do we live in where men and women are forced into rigidly defined rules for how they must behave?

So I can fully sympathize (another “females only” trait) with this young lady who is perfectly happy being the girl she was born as, who happens to choose doing things that society insists are activities for boys. You go, girl!

Lisa Selin Davis: My Daughter Is Not Transgender, She’s A Tomboy

Posted in psychology, transgender | 3 Comments

Crossdressing Under the Sea

An unexpected place to find crossdressing humour is Jim Toomey’s excellent comic strip Sherman’s Lagoon.

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If I Were a Toy

A user on Skirt Cafe mentioned a TV commercial running in the UK about a boy fantasizing what he could do if he were a toy. Among other toys, in a brief scene he finds himself wearing a pink dress for “queen of the land” and waving at adoring subjects before moving on to more traditional boy activities.
I love the perplexed look on his face, as though he’s thinking “Why on earth am I in a dress? Oh well, might as well make a go of it and see what happens!”

Posted in comics, crossdressing, humor | 1 Comment

Her Boyfriend’s Hemline

You know your blog is getting stale when it’s over a year between new posts.

Anyhow, I recently discovered the hilarious new(ish) comic strip by Norm Feuti about life in retail sales. Today’s strip hit rather close to home for me:

I can’t tell you how frustrating it is when I’m looking for a comfortable dress and everything is knee length or shorter. Of course just finding something in my gargantuan size in the first place is a struggle, so beggars can’t be choosers.

Posted in comics, crossdressing, humor | 2 Comments

Crossdressing Advice From Bart Simpson

Haven’t done any crossdressing comics for a while, so here’s one from the Simpsons episode “Bart’s New Friend”

At school the kids are organizing a game of tag that involves players crawling between one another’s legs. Milhouse looks down and observes sadly, “I guess I chose the wrong day to wear culottes.”

Every day's the wrong day to wear culottes

Every day’s the wrong day to wear culottes

I agree with Bart’s response: EVERY day is the wrong day to wear culottes. If you’re going to wear something that looks like a skirt, just wear a skirt! Although it looks from this picture like Milhouse was indeed wearing a nice pleated regular skirt, rather than culottes. Get your fashion terminology right, Simpsons writers!

This isn’t the first time they made that mistake: Way back in the episode “Two Dozen and One Greyhounds”, Bart explained that he was out of clean socks and had to wear some of his sister’s to school.  Homer angrily confronts him: “How do you explain the culottes, boy?”  “I had to coordinate, didn’t I?”

I guess Bart’s position on culottes has changed. Maybe he learned a bitter lesson that day.

Posted in crossdressing | 2 Comments

How Common is Your Kink?

Researchers at the University of Montreal conducted a study of 1,517 Québécois (799 men and 718 women) and asked them if they have sexual fantasies involving various topics. They then tallied up the results so we could see how common or uncommon each fantasy is.

Of course what we care about is how common are crossdressing fantasies. Of the respondents, 6.9% of the women and 10% of the men expressed an interest. Although as an interesting corollary, most women did NOT wish the fantasy to be real, while most men did.

Here is a link to the complete news article summarizing the study, along with a table listing all the fantasies by prevalence.

Posted in crossdressing | 4 Comments