You may have noticed I use the name “Ralph” as my nom de plume, and my cartoony self portrait in the banner shows me unshaven.
That’s because I’m a guy, first and foremost. I don’t change my name to “Mary Sue” when I put on a dress; I dont’ want to spend a short while thinking of myself as a woman; I certainly don’t want to attract the hormonal attention of a guy under any circumstances (funny story about that… will write it later). I never wear makeup. I shaved my legs a few times years ago to see how it felt, and it turned out to be more trouble than it’s worth so I stopped. Even if I did want to “pass” as a woman, or go all the way and get the snipping done, I speak in a deep bass so I doubt I’d fool anyone.
I like the dangly bits. I like scratching my crotch, and rarely shaving, picking my nose, and spilling taco sauce on my velvet gown while I watch a stupid, violent movie on DVD. I like having sex with my wife, regardless of what (if anything) either of us is wearing at the time. When I talk about myself in the third person, I use the male pronoun set, and I expect others to do the same when talking about me.
I realize that not all CDs are at that same point on the spectrum, and I’m not telling you how to live. But this is my blog, and I’m telling you how it is with me.
There’s a personality test that I’ve taken online a few times which determines how much guy vs. how much girl you have in you. Last time I took it, years ago, I fell just about smack in the middle; now it would probably be more towards the guy side because I’m a lot less confused about who I am now. But the point it, it IS a spectrum, not an on/off switch. You can be anything from Neanderthal to Barbie, both mentally and physically.
You know, when I wrote that last line it occurred to me that a lot of what makes me tick is a desire to mix and match contrasting elements of gender stereotypes. I read years ago about the “Barbie Liberation Front”, a group who protested the exaggerated gender stereotypes given with Barbie and G.I. Joe dolls. They bought up (this was all done legally, no shoplifting required) a bunch of talking Barbie and Joe dolls from toy stores, then switched the conveniently interchangeable voice boxes on them so Barbie would roar “Let’s kill ’em!” and G.I Joe would chirp “Let’s go shopping!” Then they took the dolls back to the store and put them back on the shelves for unsuspecting shoppers. When the stunt was revealed, stores offered to let shoppers return the dolls for a full refund, but I understand that instead those dolls have become highly prized collector’s items. Of course I would have taken it a step further and put Joe in Barbie’s dresses, but it was still a hilarious stunt and with the news coverage it served the purpose of calling attention to inane, outdated stereotypes.
Let’s go shopping, and then kill ’em all!
PS – I found the COGIATI test here: http://transsexual.org/cogiati/index.php?lang=en. My response to the test inspired yet another rant, though, so look for more comments on the COGIATI elsewhere.