Hooker? I ‘ardly know ‘er!

You know what really drives me nuts about crossdressers?  The ones who dress like a four dollar hooker only with less clothing and more makeup.

I know I shouldn’t judge, but come on, guys, have you ever looked at yourself and wondered what statement you’re trying to make?  I don’t like it when (real) women dress that way either, and when guys do it you make the rest of us look bad.  Don’t even get me started about Frank N. Furter in The Rocky Horror Picture Show.  Thanks to him, that’s what most people think of when they see the word “Transvestite”.

I guess it depends on what your reasons are for crossdressing.  For every guy who dons a dress, there are six conflicting reasons for it.  He might admit one or two to himself, and a good shrink could probably weasel out a few more.  So I suppose for the guys who do it purely for the erotic thrill, being your own prostitute is part of that thrill.

Me, I guess I’m just an old-fashioned girl at heart.  I grew up watching Little House on the Prairie – not for the goofy plot but because I loved those dresses.  I still want one of those long-sleeved, gingham numbers one of these days (in a size 24W?).  I like to hang around the farmer’s market to admire the homespun dresses on the Mennonite women.  When I snuggle into bed, it’s in an ankle-length velvet gown (when it’s cold) or a billowy satin gown (when it’s not).

The crossdressing community is a big tent.  But keep your gold glitter faux-leather thigh boots and your fishnet stockings, your micro-miniskirts, your feather boas and your five-gallon bucket of mascara on YOUR side of the tent, please.

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About Ralph

Male. Straight. Married.
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3 Responses to Hooker? I ‘ardly know ‘er!

  1. Zosimus the Heathen says:

    While I’ve got a couple of long PVC raincoats – one black, one silver – that I like to joke make me look like a prostitute, I’ve never understood the whole attraction of the hooker look myself, particularly when it involves, as you say, the CDer wearing as little clothing as possible. If I’m wearing women’s clothing, I like to wear as much of the stuff as I can, to cover as much of my body’s surface as I’m able to with those wonderfully sensuous fabrics so much ladies’ attire is made from. Mmmm.

    I can relate to your love of old-fashioned girls’ clothing (hmm, I seem to be agreeing with you a lot, don’t I? Oh well, I’m sure you’ll eventually post something I’ll violently disagree with), even though it didn’t really float my boat when I started out on this whole dressing caper nearly twenty years ago. Back then, I preferred my women’s clothing to be fairly unisex, and found anything too fancy or frilly to be a little too feminine for my taste (and a little too embarrassing for me to be seen in). Now, though, I’ve become a lot more open-minded, and find there isn’t a lot on the female side of the clothing divide I won’t at least consider trying. I love unabashedly feminine stuff now – the stuff that’s not even remotely unisex – and love it even more when I can get away with wearing it (thanks to my pretty baby face and slim, girlish build)! Lace, frills, Peter Pan collars – you name it, it all makes my heart melt! Like you, I’ve taken to sleeping in billowy satin gowns (though in the cold weather in my case, something we’re sadly not getting too much of right now where I’m living). Unfortunately, I had to get mine made for me, because the only ones I could find in the stores were chemise-style ones that wouldn’t have covered nearly as much of me as I’d have wanted. I wanted something much more old-fashioned and modest; I wanted to slip into bed with my arms as well as the rest of my body sheathed in satin, and a lace-trimmed collar snug around my neck.

    I found it interesting that you used to watch Little House on the Prairie only for the clothes. While there probably haven’t been too many shows I’ve only watched for the characters’ costumes myself, I’ve often found that my most cherished memory of a particular television show or movie was of something one of the characters happened to be wearing in it. Take The Monkees, for example. My favourite scene in that was one in which the titular characters were “pied” on a children’s TV show, and put in protective clothing just beforehand. One of the things each of them was made to wear was a fancy 1960s-style woman’s bathing cap covered in green rubber leaves that made it look like a little fairy hat. I couldn’t get over how gorgeous Davy Jones looked in his (I think I’m pretty straight, but moments like this make me wonder…), and therefore considered it a great shame that a) he was only wearing it under duress, and probably hating it as a consequence; and b) it ended up covered in cream. Another example of something I remember most fondly for the clothing featured in it was the movie Dumb and Dumber. A great comedy it was, certainly, but the thing I really loved in it was that scene in which the two main characters were getting makeovers. I loved the smocks the women working on them were wearing – big baggy things with Peter Pan collars and oversized buttons – so much so, in fact, that I later had something very similar made for myself!

  2. thorin25 says:

    Ralph, your wife okay with you wearing those things to bed?

    I understand that you find crossdressers dressing up like sluts to be weird, but they are doing it for different reasons than you. They are trying to be attracted to themselves, strange and messed up yes, but I’ve been there. But I dressed a bit differently dressing like the more modest women that I’m attracted to. I think crossdressers who do it for sexual reasons dress like whatever they are attracted to.

  3. Ralph says:

    You’re probably right, Thorin. Since I don’t find that look attractive on women, it makes sense that I wouldn’t find it attractive on myself either — and conversely, the clothes I like to wear are the kind I like to see on women, too. You’ve probably opened a deep new mine of psychological turmoil that I hadn’t thought about before!

    Yes, my wife has been OK with what I wear to bed for almost 25 years. She never specifically asked, but I always assumed she would be more comfortable if I didn’t wear them when we were intimate, so I always took them off. It’s mostly a moot point now, though; her physical handicaps prevent any kind of intimacy because she hurts so much all the time. So most of our physical contact is limited to me rubbing her back until we both fall asleep.

    Actually she has never said much either way on the subject. Once years ago, I don’t remember how we even got to talking about it, she made an offhand remark that “it’s not what I like best about you”; more recently I copied her on a letter I wrote the wife of another crossdresser so she could see that it wasn’t just him being weird but there are others just like him. Again, she said very little apart from not realizing that it’s more of a compulsion than a personal preference and she said that she figures I put up with a lot of stuff she does that I don’t care for (which is true), so she accepts my odd clothing habits the same way — just part of the give-and-take of people sharing their lives together.

    Her one request was always that I not wear dresses in front of our children — she worried that it would dilute my role as the father figure — and although they are in their 20s now and we only rarely see them, I still honor that request. I have no idea how she’d feel about my dressing around other non-family visitors, since the idea horrifies me so much I don’t intend to ever find out.

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